So today was a bit of a sad day at work. I found out that two of my patients died last night and that makes me sad. They were both very ill and were not expected to live very long and were considered to be in palliative care. This does not make the situation any less sad though. I really like their families and it makes me sad to see them so upset.
One family I think will be OK once they grieve their loved one who has passed because they were very realistic about the process of his disease and knew he would not get any better. It is still a hard loss for them but they will be OK.
The other family I worry about though. Even on the evening before he died, his family was asking about when he was going to start getting better and what new medications we could give him to fix what was wrong. It had been explained to them on multiple occasions that there was nothing that could be done but they just could not accept it. It breaks my heart to see this because they may not have had the time to say the things that they wanted to say nor did they have the time to prepare themselves for this inevitability. I can totally understand their difficulty in accepting that their loved one is going to die. I don't think I could just give up on somebody in my family either, it is just difficult when the truth finally hits and the person falls apart. I truly hope this family is doing Ok.
I know that dealing with death is a part of my job and I do what ever I can to support my patients and their families through it. I still makes me very sad when somebody dies though. I guess it is the harsh finality of the whole thing.
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